Meditative Practice Week 2

 3/5/2023 

I completed Master Mike's class on feeling the Force. I wish that it was an audio guided meditation so that I can include the steps in my regular meditation. I'll create an audio version and put the link here with Master Mike's permission. I'm wondering how long each phase should be. Perhaps 5 minutes for each step. For the record here are the steps:

Step one: Breathe

Step 2: Focus. You may use a song, a phrase or a mantra as a focusing aid. I find it useful to keep the breathing pattern that was established in step one in mind as well. 

Step 3: Unfocus, step back, or "stare at the air".  I have found that this occurs naturally when one enters the meditative state, but in the off chance that it does not, recall a time in which you have daydreamed. That here but not here feeling is what we are looking for. The key is not to force it. 

When I was learning these steps years ago, I thought it was important to get to all the steps in the first go, but I think the best advice I can give is that your body, spirit and mind have to be ready for it. So, if you spend a week a step one, that's fine. Just get that step down. Then move to step two. Then to step three. This isn't a race. Not everyone will feel the flow day one, week one, month one or year one. The key is practice at your own pace. 

[Place recording(s) here]

3/6/2023 

My back really hurt in this morning's meditation, and I wasn't able to get into a meditative state. I even tried while at work and I was agitated, and I forgot the steps. I remembered one was "breathe" but my breath was shallow because of the back pain, so I decided to give it another try in the evening. I found that insight timer was very helpful in the evening because it added the ambient "om" sound. But I still wasn't able to achieve a meditative state. I feel a bit of trepidation going into a meditative state. It feels a little like sleep and I wonder how to manage that since because of my disability I don't have the requisite core strength and cannot develop it, to keep my body erect and my head from leaning. I'd just prefer not to fall asleep. I wonder if a high-backed chair will help. I feel it necessary to mention that I was able to meditate for 20 minutes in one sitting and that I began to feel that meditative state during the later 10 minutes (I believe) 

3/7/2023 

As I told Praxeum,. I found an app to alert me of sunrise and sunset times and I am going to try my best to meditate as close to those times as possible. I finished my first meditation on the ride to work (I was not driving). I feel very refreshed. My main goal was to breathe and focus. Focus on the Om sound. The car and the ambient sounds that were created outside provided me with ample distraction to drown out. 

Today's evening meditation I was a bit detracted. I'm not sure if that feeling I'm feeling is the desire to go to sleep or to enter a meditative state. As is typical of me I've thought about adding more sessions. One when I first wake up and one when I go to bed, but I think it might be too much for me. One day I do want to get to the point where I am meditating at regular intervals.

3/8/2023

My main focus this week is establishing the habit of meditating. Even eleven years on the path, I find traditional meditating habits (any habits really) to be difficult for me. But I can form them. I'm not really worried about keeping up with the rest of the class, so I haven't really focused on feeling the flow of the Force because I am only on step two (focus on a sound). I think that my body, mind and spirit will tell me when its time to move on because the next step will come naturally. I've decided to add more time to my meditation tonight, which means because of the appointment I have, I will need to meditate as soon as I get home. 

3/9/2023

I'm checking in to say it's difficult to meditate in a moving vehicle for me....haha. And keeping with the sunrise sunset has been...a little stressful haha...so I'll have to find something that doesn't induce stress and produces the same benefit (a reminder to meditate twice a day)

Confession time. I didn't get my nighttime meditation done cuz I was doom scrolling. It's a wonder how many hours that can take up...by design

Anyway, I'm going to give my morning meditation another go. I tried it and it seemed to work well. 

II did notice something that I spoke about was that when I try to meditate and enter that meditative space I end up with my leg sort of trembling as if it was trying to say "stay awake". One of the instructors was able to help me through that.

3/10/2023

Friday was a difficult meditation day because I ended up getting picked up at 6:30 a.m. and I wanted coffee and breakfast and I didn't get back from 7-Eleven until 7:00 and I was easily distracted by my breakfast and I didn't end up meditating until much later than I anticipated and that was a little bit frustrating for me. Plus I didn't get my full meditation time but I did do it, so I am endorsing for the effort. 

3/11/2023

Saturday was the first weekend day and I noticed that I woke up later but I did end up doing meditation. The cool thing about being able to check in is that I noticed it and I think people notice it when I don't check in. Not that they say anything but I do think that they value when I do check in. I've noticed a lot more conversations happen once I check in about meditation or about just general things that are going on throughout the day so I'm happy to be able to provide that service. I also want to thank Praxeum for it support through these two weeks. I would not have been able to make it as far as I have without them.

3/12/2023

Even though my meditation happened much later than anticipated, I still did it. I was excited for class, but unfortunately it was cancelled, and here was my first temptation to get off of routine. Karina came in clutch with the idea to do a kyber beacon, because at the very least it could fill the hour or two typically set aside on Sundays. It ended up filling about 8(!)hours. It was such a good beacon session and we had a great conversation about the Force. Jedi talk for hours. I went to do laundry, came back and the convo was still going. It's passed midnight now and I'm just finishing up my entry. Such good open, honest, respectful conversation is what keeps me here and builds friendships. Thank you all